I started writing a draft about 6 days ago and it has been sat there since.
Life has been pretty hectic here, I’ll be honest, not necessarily busy in the evenings so I could have written but then I also took that time to chill out. I’m not apologising, everyone needs a break sometimes right? I’m sure we’ve all been there! Its been nice to take the time to just sit down in the evenings and enjoy a movie or some TV. Usually I would be crocheting or crafting in the evenings, its been very nice to sit and do nothing!
Time is also disappearing, I’m flabbergasted that it is Christmas NEXT WEEK! Its coming around very quickly and I have to say, I am loving it. But on the other hand, I don’t feel particularly festive! I have spoken to so many people and they say the same, its like its not really coming. It’s like its not happening next week, it feels like it is so far away!
I’m done with my shopping, I just have the wrapping to do but otherwise, a few little stocking fillers for Mei and I am finished. Why do I not feel more festive? Are you festive? I hope you feel more festive than me!
I haven’t let me lack of festive feeling stop me from enjoying Christmas, we’ve been listening to Christmas songs regularly and Miss Kaboodle really enjoys Shakin’ Stevens-Merry Christmas everyone, it’s her favourite and she sang it at her Christmas concert! When we listen to it at home, she starts doing a little dance and it’s just the cutest thing!
This week, I’ve had a very strong sense of anxiety, I think it has contributed to my lack of posting and also the lack of energy I am experiencing currently. It all started last Sunday when I visited family, within 24 hours, someone was ill and most of you will know that I don’t DO sickness. It completely threw me off and I have spent a fair few hours this week crying and feeling very, very down. I was really upset because it kind of put a dampener on my birthday. I knew I wouldn’t be back at 100% to celebrate it and that’s a damn shame because this is the first year I haven’t felt sad about not being in contact with my parents on my birthday. I did dye my hair a few days ago which occupied me enough to stop the bad thoughts and negative feelings and I was gifted some wonderful things from Meirion, family and friends. I did have a lovely day and it was really nice when Meirion got home from work last night and he had brought my sister with him! That was really nice, to see her on my birthday.
We shared a Chinese and then she went home. I was full off my food and bed was calling. I snuggled up and watched How To Train Your Dragon in bed before doing some meditation and falling to sleep.
I’m still anxious. I’m still struggling with negative thoughts but I will get there. There is only one day left of school runs and Meirion also finishes work tomorrow which means I can hopefully start to enjoy the lead up to Christmas surrounded by my favourite two people (and all the fluff balls we’ve acquired!)
I’ve got to be totally honest, Our advent of activities has kind of gone a bit….gone. We have done stuff but nowhere near as much as I would have liked to have done. I have both our busy days and my anxiety to blame for that. I cant say much when it comes to being busy, I mean life happens but I am a bit ruffled that my anxiety has been brought on and it’s made things here go a bit wayward.
I think a trip to my doctor is on the cards.
I don’t really have any thing else to update on, I will hopefully be more organised over the next week or so, no promises though, eh!
I hope everyone else is feeling a little more festive than me at the moment!
As always, thanks for reading!