This is a trying to conceive post and may contain content that not all readers may feel comfortable reading about.
So, first of all I’m posting a day late, I’ve tried to post my day to day feelings in the evenings of each day but yesterday I was not up to the task of sitting down and typing up a post. Let me explain.,
Yesterday, I was still a bit tired from the day before it. I had had a long day that day and I just couldn’t wait to get to bed, I was fed up, feeling guilty and pretty much just done with everything by bedtime. I slept well, actually managing to get off before 11pm which is pretty much unheard of from me it was nice catching up on some much needed rest.
Just before waking up, I was having a great dream, it was filled with all the things that I would call fun and people who i’d love to see were in it and it was just great, waking up, I felt emotional. not just emotional but emotional because my dream was good, I don’t know. I’m just crazy I guess, I’d had a wicked dream full of people who I admire and I realise that would never happen, I got bummed out.
Eventully I pulled myself away from the dream-slump and felt a bit better. I didn’t really have much gusto and would have been happy to just sit around and do nothing all day. I didn’t do that though, Miss Kaboodle had been invited to a friends tea party so we attended. I didn’t want to go and I felt a bit overwhelmed while I was there. That’s something that usually happens, being such an introvert, I often find myself a bit panicy when I’m in a social setting like a kids party, I think I felt a bit more under pressure than usual though.
As luck would have it, KaboodleDad got to finish work earlier than normal yesterday so He was home sooner and it was super nice to have him around when we got back from the party and even nicer because I was feeling so grumpy.
I continued to feel grumpy for the rest of the day. It was so exhausting, I was trying not to be grumpy, which was making me grumpy, but I didn’t want to be grumpy so I was just like GRRRRRR!! I dunno, I just felt so crap. We decided to have take out last night because I declared that I would not be doing the dishes and I had a terrible craving for McDonalds fries! I sent KaboodleDad out to get us a Mac each and scoffed it down like it was going out of fashion. I enjoyed it but 20 minutes later I was reminded why I should chow down grub like a food feind. I felt rough. Bloated, full, sick, hot, sweaty, dirty. URGH! I decided I needed a nice soak in the bath after Willow had gone to bed.
((EXTRA TMI AHEAD, HEED MY WARNING))
I was so horny. I know this is because of the hormonal change because I very rarely feel horny. Like, I always enjoy sex and we have it often and I never feel like its a chore but I guess that’s why I don’t ever really get horny because I guess I don’t go too long without it. Yesterday was totally different it was all I could think about, I guess the grumpiness had something to do with that too because I was frustrated. Jesus, the last time I was this rampant I was *actually* pregnant! I’m not complaining, I guess if there’s one thing I need to be while trying to conceive Is horny.
With feel ill after my food, I was gutted because I know well enough that usually, I will feel ill right up until I fall asleep so I figured sex was off the table. I went for my bath and that was just tragic. I made it like I normally would, only yesterday it felt boiling! I started having palpitations and had to catch my breath a couple of times. I added some cold but it didn’t help, I just quickly washed a got out. Afterwards I couldn’t cool down, which added to my grumpy frustratedness and made me upset. I wanted to cry but I stopped myself. I took some gaviscon and sat outside for a bit but then I just went up to bed. I watched some TV but I was hot and bothered. I was still awake when KD came up and I couldn’t help but feel better.
I was satisfied.
for a bit.
I woke up at 2am practically rabid for round two but I didn’t want to wake him up.
I fell back asleep about 3am. I was up again at 6 to temp and couldn’t settle. Eventually I nodded off because the next thing I remember is hearing KD ask me if I wanted a cup pf tea.
OF course I wanted a cup of tea ( with a side order of you, my good sir *WINK*) but sadly, the three year old running wild put the brakes on any breakfast I had planned.
And so I am on my final day of taking clomid. Its funny to think that if I actually get pregnant this cycle, then I am **theoretically** already pregnant…..
until later, my friends.
As always, Thanks for reading. I hope no one who made it though to this bit has been off put LOL!