Honesty, Is not always the best policy!

Recently, I decided that it was time to consider looking at getting a job since Willow needs a little more than I have on offer.

It was only natural that I looked back on my practically ancient CV to see what’s changed since the last time I needed one.

Obviously, things like age, address and phone numbers needed changing but I couldn’t help but notice that my ‘about me’ was a bit wrong. Well, I say wrong, it’s not wrong, In fact It’s got all the makings of a great ‘about’ but I had to laugh at the irony of it. I have been unemployed for four years and I worked in one place for four years before that! Put simply, Almost every detail was a lie! Maybe it was the truth when I originally wrote it as a bright eyed, childless, teenager but those words are far from who I am today!
So here goes, what happens if I write my cv for who I am these days?

Lets see…

originally, I wrote,
I am an energetic, enthusiastic and positive individual, with great time keeping skills,

these days,
I am a lethargic, unenthusiastic and grumpy individual who is almost always late to everything, including getting up in the morning.

I went on..

I have excellent organisation skills as well as being a very well presented individual. I am polite, well spoken and a good listener.

These days,
I have mediocre organisation skills as well as being able to lick my fingers and push my eyelashes up while wearing a t-shirt I plucked out of the dirty washing pile with complete disregard for the snot stain on the shoulder. I am relatively polite, I thank when thanks is needed, other times I just shout profanities in the general direction of the thing that needs the shouting at. I am very well spoken, its just difficult to understand me through the biscuit I’m currently chowing down on. I am capable of listening, after being called about 10 times you will definitely have my attention, albeit rather angry attention, but attention non-the-less.

I am able to work well alone and equally as well in a team.

I am able to work well alone and equally as well alone. I am capable of working in a team, but I prefer to do everything myself and then shout at people for not helping me out sometimes.

I have an eagerness to learn and progress. I am strong minded and capable of working under pressure. I am competent and able to make quick decisions should I need too.

I am almost always on Wikipedia learning who voiced the characters of my daughters latest animated obsession. And I just hit the next level in my game. I am dimly minded, often outwitted by my three year old but I am capable of cleaning a really full potty without throwing up! I am competitive and able to make a quick judgement of other parents around me when IF I ever leave the house long enough to experience human contact.

I am a great team player, I get along well with others, I am approachable, kind, and trustworthy.

I am a great individual, I get along really well with my boyfriend, I don’t really know anyone else. I can be approached after I have had my morning cup of tea and after food. Any other time can be a hit or a miss but you can try. I’m generally kind, unless you’re within my vicinity and there’s been a spillage somewhere in the house. You can trust me to hide all the sweets so only I have access to them.

I am a happy-go-lucky, spritely individual with a passion for people.

I am a highly sceptical individual, often concerned about silence, roads, strangers, and food that’s been open longer than two days. I am capable of movement although I am sometimes hindered by my dodgy hip and the bad back I inherited from sporting an unnecessarily large pregnancy bump that promised a 9lb mosterling but instead consisted of litres upon litres of water and a 6lb 10oz tiny thing. I avoid all people if and when I possibly can.

And THAT’S why honesty is NOT always the best policy!

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18 thoughts on “Honesty, Is not always the best policy!

  1. Nicole McIntyre says:

    I’m too honest. I can easily lie through my teeth but I love telling people the truth about myself too much that I find lying weird. In school a woman came in to go through practice interviews for when we’ die looking for jobs and I decided to be honest and tell her I was lazy! After saying it I realised that was a mistake and if I ever say that again I will never get a job! Haha!

    • Nicole McIntyre says:

      “When we’d be looking for jobs”! Not “when we die looking for jobs”! That definitely needed a correction comment. 😛

    • Faye Elizabeth says:

      Hahah! Once, when I was in school and I had one of those mock interview thingy-ma-bobbies where they ask you what you want to be when you grow up and tell you how to achieve it, I turned around at Said all I want to be is a housewife! The guy was so shocked and wrote a letter to my teacher and O was called in to have a ‘serious chat’ about my career choice! The next time they asked me to do this activity where you would write out all the details of your dream job and I filled it out as if I was a stripper!! Hahahahah!!! Needless to say I had to have another ‘serious chat’ about where I was heading in life!
      They.thought.i.was.being.serious!! Honestly though, in the end I had to turn around and explain I just couldn’t take it seriously because I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was 15 and having fun!
      These days, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up but at least I’m happy being a housewife like I planned first of all!

      Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

      • Nicole McIntyre says:

        Haha! That really made me laugh! I would have loved to have seen your teachers faces after you said housewife and a stripper!

      • Faye Elizabeth says:

        Hahah! Trust me, they were hilarious! Even now, 10 years later, I can still see a vivid image of my teacher (we called him Aj) looking at me with the most sincere, apologetic look saying “you realise stripping isn’t a very good career choice?” ASIFIDIDNTKNOW! I just turned around and told him I didn’t care, id be making £1,500 a night! What was there to complain about?
        It sounds so silly but I’ve always been one of those people who think kids should be kids for as long as possible, asking a 15/16 year old what they want to do for the rest of their lives on the same day they asked their own mother where their knickers were, is a bit stupid!

      • Nicole McIntyre says:

        I agree. I didn’t know what I wanted to do at that age so I left to do a media course. Now I’ve decided on something completely different and I’d need a biology a level but it’s so difficult to try and get an a level after not doing it when I had the chance.

      • Faye Elizabeth says:

        Preaching to the choir! I really desperately want to be a nail technician and hairdresser but at 25 I’d have to pay for all my courses and it would take me 3 years of full time college and 2 years of night school one night a week! I’d end up with about 8grand worth of debt and I think that’s unfair. Government funding gets cut after the age of 19 now and I think that is stupid! I don’t think it’s fair to ask someone so young what they want to do until they’re 75! The education system is a laugh!

      • Nicole McIntyre says:

        It really is. I currently get student finance but of course I have to pay all that back when I leave. It’s not fair for them to tell us we need to get an education and then they increase the prices of our education every year!

      • Faye Elizabeth says:

        Totes! That’s why I’m still unsure about what I want to do because on one hand, I’m the housewife I wanted to be 😉 on the other I want to learn and grow and have a career but it’s going to cost so much money and I just hate the idea of having debt. I’ve checked it out online and I could get all the finance to cover all the course feea and stuff but, like you, I’d have to repay it all. I have a young daughter and I hate to think that I’d be working to earn a living for us as a family but some of it is used to pay back loans! It puts me off going back to college and education shouldn’t be scary! It should be welcoming and exciting, instead of someone thinking about the debt all the time. All education should be free! Or at least nowhere near as expensive as it is lol

      • Nicole McIntyre says:

        Agreed. It’s ridiculous how much you have to pay. £9000 for a course in England and on top of that I’d have to move over there and live there. And in this economy it’s hard enough!

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