Looking back #2. Soothers or nothing?

As I have previously mentioned, I have been looking back at my earlier posts and decided to pluck a few from my archives that are debatable. Todays revisit is to a post I titled Soothers or nothing and in it I talked about using a dummy/pacifier with a baby. Reading through my original post I noticed quite a few spelling errors and crazy autocorrections that really annoyed me but in the spirit of looking back and seeing how far I have come, I’m not going to alter it.

I originally wrote it because I was looking for a way to talk about parenting for everyone, a way to find out what others think about certain aspects of parenting, a way to connect. I have since realised that blogging can be cruel and not all your favourite posts get the attention you feel they deserve, but I was naive and new to the blogosphere.

Reading it through again I have realised that my opinion of dummies has changed slightly.

Now, willow is 2 and yes, she still has a soother. It’s her comfort. I do think she has it more than she needs but it’s hers and until she is old enough to understand about giving it up I won’t take it away.” – taken from the original post.

first of all, when I wrote this, I hadn’t reached the point of pure exauhstion by trying to decipher what my toddler was saying to me through her slobbery, dummy filled mouth! Don’t get me wrong, I still stand by everything I was saying in my original post but as a mother to a toddler, my opinion of a dummy has changed. There is nothing worse than your child getting frustrated because you can’t understand them, add a dummy into it and you’ve got yourself a whole other problem.

Addiction, let’s be honest here, that’s what my child had, an additction. Hooked onto a dummy like it gave life, suckin’ away at it all day and night. Of course, it’s my own doing, my own making, my fault she was so addicted by being absolutely, shockingly bad at using any other distraction method, by my own admission I used it like a plug, I slammed that thing into her face the minute she grizzled and there was no stopping it. A habit I carried through from my childhood, I had mine until I was 12, that’s right! TWELVE YEARS OF AGE I still went to bed with a dummy and a piece of silk to rub against my nose. As it is with most things, what’s good enough for me is good enough for you. We start eating more veggies and cook more at home when we become parents, because we want our little seedlings to grow into better versions of ourselves, but here’s the thing, I noticed that I was forcing a habit that belonged to me, onto her. Just because I had a dummy until I was 12 doesn’t meant that she can have one for that long, not even close to that amount, Nope! Nope! Nope!

After struggling with hearing what willow was saying I made the decision to take away the dummy during the days. Admittedly, Miss Kaboodle still has her dummy at night, she has it for bed. But breaking down the quote I shared,

  “It’s her comfort.”

Wrong, it comforted her but it was more than that. Like I have said, she was addicted to it, she couldn’t go without it and got angry at me if I took it away.

“I do think she has it more than she needs but it’s hers and until she is old enough to understand about giving it up I won’t take it away.”

This part of my original opinion has changed dramatically because of everything I’ve already written about not understanding Willow and how I used the dummy as an easy fix. I’m a bit angry at myself really, “I do think she has it more than she needs it,” well that’s obvious! “until she is old enough to understand about giving it up I am not going to take it away.” Wrong! It needed taking away from her during the day, it needed to be used less as a distraction tool for me and we both needed to stop relying on it.

I probably sound a bit hypocritical because my Little Miss Moo still has it at night time. The truth is, I don’t know how to approach the giving up the dummy thing. I don’t know what I can do to make it easier for her because it will be hard. I think I’ll be looking into methods and strategies soon because I would like to see her without it as soon as possible.

As a final note, I still stand by the use of a dummy, I do think it did all those things that I originally spoke about, I do think it was a good desicion. The bad desicion was becoming reliant on it and I like to think that I have learned enough while going from babyhood into toddlerhood with my Daughter, that of I were ever to have another baby, I would not use a dummy again.

Isn’t it funny how things change.

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