It’s been a little while in the making, the disconnection between willow and I. It’s grown from a little argument here and a little argument there into a relationship that has issues, at the moment, that is.
Like I said the other day, Willows attitude has increased, it’s like she’s gone from being gizmo to one of his not so nice spawns…. It’s uncomfortable.
I’m normally quite stern, I allow Willow the boundaries I feel are appropriate for her age and I stick to them. Willow seems to want to break the boundaries once or twice daily and it’s causing tension.
As you know, I’ve been ill, I haven’t been myself for some time an ive started to feel under pressure because I feel like a small part of me just isn’t here anymore. The normal, healthy me would have the house looking clean and tidy in the blink of an eye but these days I’m so lethargic I can manage the dishes and a quick wipe down before I feel too overwhelmed and stop. That in itself is bugging me because I love doing the housework, No really! I do, I like taking willow to school, coming home and giving it a tidy up before she comes home and messes it all up again. Recently I’ve just been placing things out of sight and piling things in corners.
Anyway, I’m not one for sitting and doing nothing and that seems to be the thing I want to do most, either that or I’m counting the minutes until bedtime.
With willow suddenly a Terrible Two Year Old and me feeling like I’m older than Gods dog we’ve been conflicting, I have no doubt in my mind that willow is bored. She’s bored of being home all day, she’d bored of having to play the same games each day, she’s bored of watching the world through a window, she’s bored of me. I am boring currently, I have nothing to offer because everything seems like a mental challenge for me. I feel like my old, post natal self, the me who was me over a year ago, I thought I’d overcome those days and become a better person Because of them.
I know I sound a lot like a pity-me record stuck on repeat, but I hope this whatever-it-is-that’s-wrong-with-me goes soon, I want to engage with my child again and be her friend, the mother I built myself to be instead of her enemy three, four, five times a day. I want to do activities again and spend our days in the kitchen making play doh or cakes. I’m fairly confident that Willow feels the same way.
I’m stuck with how to address her persistent bad attitude, the ‘I want’ attitude, she’s even started stealing.
I don’t mean going into a shop and shop lifting, I mean she climbs up places and pinches her dummy, or chocolates or she’ll take the iPad from wherever I’ve hidden it that day. She knows she’s not allowed and so she hides. She sneaks away to a quiet corner somewhere and literally hides her miss behaviour.
Just yesterday I told her she wasn’t allowed a box of chocolates over my grandmas house and 5 minutes later she’s taking the box under the dining table.
This all needs addressing and I’d like to think there’s a better way than just reprimanding her and sending her to a naughty step or taking away a toy or making her sit quietly.
We say it all the time, us parents,
“They get away with murder.”
I feel like this is my life at the moment, a toddler who’s strong will and determination is causing a rift between us.
I need to think up a strategy, a plan of action, if only I had the energy to.