“Today you are You, that is truer than true, there is no one alive who is Youer than You. Dr Seuss.
I’ve often struggled with my appearance and my ability to fit into society.
I used to have this idea that you had to have the best new items and nicest clothes, cool gadgets and even cooler friends.
I’ll admit, as biased as it sounds, my friends were all pretty cool so I have no complaints there!
My clothes however weren’t and neither was my appearance.
I was the ever-changing hairstyle kid and had many a bad hair cut over the years. I even allowed my hairdesser-in-training friend to cut my hair once and it was disastrous!
I even got dumped because of it!
My clothes consisted of hand me downs and charity shop bargains, my school uniform included and on top of that, so was my school bag!
Being handed down a school bag from a cousin that went to the same school resulted in me being branded a thief!
Needless to say I was bullied from the beginning of school until the end.
I was happy when I left.
I started my first job just two weeks after finishing school and as soon as I started earning a wage my self esteem grew with the contents of my wardrobe. It makes me sound materialistic but I’d beg to differ, I became my own person, I had my own style. I no longer wore other peoples clothes and I didn’t feel like I was living in someone else’s shoes, that probably had a lot to do with the fact that i finally had the money to buy my own and not actually wear some one else’s shoes.
Eventually I moved out at the age of 17 and had my own little flat, miles away from home and that suited me.
I had a marmite relationship with my mother and step father and loved being far away from them and their choice of lifestyle.
Flash forward a few years and I have my little cherub. I’m a mother now and I love my daughter more than words can describe. I am my own woman, in the wise words of Dr Seuss as quoted above, I realise that I don’t have to fit in, I am me, there is no one on the earth that is me. I am unique and I like that about myself. I’m loved for being me and not tying to be someone else and that’s a damn good feeling.
I look back on my childhood and teenage years and wonder how my parents could ever choose to live the way they did, I wonder how they could ever choose their habits over our (my siblings and I) needs and welfare.
I try my hardest to do what I can for my Willow and I love her so much I could never allow her to live the way I lived.
I don’t mean that I will spoil her, that she will have everything she wants. The girl will have everything she needs. not everything she wants.
I’ll make sure she has a happy and clean house to grow up in and parents who respect her and each other.
Kaboodle Dad and I have a very loving and healthy relationship, the way we care and respect each other puts my parents relationship to shame.
My expectations of a fully functioning relationship is based on what I have now, no longer is it based on what I had experienced and witnessed.
Willow will grow up in a secure, safe and happy place. She will know that being equal in a relationship is important and I hope it will give her the tools to choose a life partner wisely, and pick a good’un, as they say!
(I’m sure kaboodle dad would have something to say if she didn’t anyway!)
The best security blanket a child can have is parents who care about their needs before their own.